Werner Hydrogen

the artist

Werner Hydrogen, the scientific genius who is the only person to realize that the entire Universe is really a giant atom of hydrogen. Werner's thesis is that we all live in the "positive" nucleus, on the surface of the proton, and all the evil demons which are broadcasting microwaves into our brain live on the surface of the "negative" electron. The electron and proton are connected by nougat.

the art

"Dr." Hydrogen's most recent work is a mural in his bedroom depicting his discovery of the Hydrogen Atom Totality and all the other scientists who ever lived are shown grovelling at his feet. In one corner, you can see Sir Isaac Newton weeping in anguish that he did not discover the Hydrogen Atom Totality, and in another corner, Stephen Hawking is offering to the great Werner Hydrogen the one possession that he truly treasures, his collection of videotaped Mentos commercials.

the beret

It's made entirely of aluminum foil to ward off the deadly microwaves transmitted into Werner's brain by the evil beings of the dark electron, and a little motorized rubber ball on a stick circles around it once every 1.345 minutes, to represent the Hydrogen Atom Totality's natural rhythm, nature's most perfect design.

Submitted by Kibo, on August sometime, 1994