Bill Zettler

the artist

Destruction of the earth is in and of itself an art, and we are all would-be artistes. However, the Earth would not be a medium. I'm afraid it would be a large.

Let's just say we're talking about one mad genius here, and not a group, and the destruction of the earth is his brainchild. Makes his beret easier.

the art

An earth-shattering kaboom.

the beret

Well, I'd think this artiste would want to view his kaboom from a certain distance, of course NOT a SAFE distance... we're talking he'd be floating around maybe 20,000 miles off Earth, just to view the kaboom and enjoy it in the scant seconds he has until the explosion hits and of course destroys him as well.

He'd need a space suit. An actual space ship like a shuttle would not afford maximum viewing angle, nor that oh-so-necessary "road feel" that motorcyclists love.

His beret would be worn, I should think, on the outside of his helmet.. how else could he be recognized as the artistic genius he is.. without it, he'd get written off as some ordinary maniac mastermind.

Therefore his beret would have to be large enough to fit atop a space helmet without looking ludicrous. It could be attached with any old glue.

Colors? I think a bright red, stupid ultimately french-looking beret would be optimal. The more tasteless the better.

Submitted by Bill Zettler, (wrz@bzettler.dnai.com), on Sunday, 11 December, 1994, from