Wullie McGlumphie

I write from Glasgow, Scotland, which is by non means short of its own cultural activity, but the word "artist" here is universally reviled and ridiculed. "Ah kent his faither," as they say: West of Scotland Culchur begins and ends with the "piss artist" and nothing fancier.

We have elevated this to an art form of its own (though others would be better placed to describe it than me)- anyone who has seen "Rab C Nesbitt" (a BBC TV "sitcom" less well known than the international "Blackadder" and "Fawlty Towers," though at least as funny) will know what I'm talking about.

SO... to use your model, the Glasgow Artist would be:

the artist

Wullie McGlumphie

the art

Verbose/lachrymose performance art, face deep in his (always his) pint of 80 Shillin on the philosophical nature of love "see her indoors?"), life ("see ramorra?" (tomorrow) and work ("see yon post-industrial ennui?"). You should know that the Glasgow "see...?" says all that need be said on any subject whatsoever. It relies for effect on a facial expression that is impossible to reproduce on the Net since is infinitely more complex than the "smileys" that litter the newsgroups.

the beret

Tartan bunnet. A bunnet may well be related to the french "beret", since the "Auld Alliance" with France still holds true. E-mail me if you want to know more about this!

Submitted by Michael Smith (Michael@imajack.demon.co.uk), on Friday, August 5, 1994, from Glasgow, Scotland